


Becoming Shepherd

by somethin_random (wordsaremyfaith)



Category: Firefly
Genre: Character Study, Ficlet, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-06-03
Updated: 2006-06-03
Packaged: 2018-04-16 10:03:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4621188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordsaremyfaith/pseuds/somethin_random
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Book character study, pre-Firefly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Becoming Shepherd

One day, Meria Book woke up and didn’t want to torture anymore.

His head hurt. Ariel’s two suns were too bright this morning, and he needed a shower. The girl he had handled yesterday was young. Too young. Her screams still rang out in his mind.

Book realized he felt something he hadn’t in a long time: guilt. The girl had been a child, no more than twelve, and he had stuck hot pins into her eyes until she begged for mercy. Those pleas never moved him; he had become deaf to that sort of thing.

It was when she cried out for her mother that he knew it was time to leave the Alliance for good. He needed something more to believe in than a government that would do such things to young children. He got out of bed and dressed, formulating a plan all the while. He would go to an abbey, become a Shepherd. It was perfect – the Alliance didn’t allow their top spies to marry, anyway, so that part of his life would never be an issue, and God was something he could wholeheartedly endorse. Anyway, they would never suspect a Shepherd of treachery, as they might if he chose to leave for some other career.

But it was more than just something to believe in – Book needed salvation. He wanted to be purged of his sins. For the first time, he could clearly see that the Alliance’s methods were, perhaps, unnecessary, and in light of this, he felt sorry. More than sorry. He’d tortured and killed for many years without remorse; now, he wanted nothing more than to fall onto his knees and beg God for forgiveness, a second chance at being a good person, anything – anything that would absolve him of crimes condoned by the government.

So Book sent in his resignation. When he was interrogated, he simply told them he wanted to be closer to God, and left it at that. At first, they were suspicious, but after a year, when it was clear that he was harmless, an Alliance official contacted him to send their best wishes for his new life and to let him know he had been replaced many months earlier by someone who, while not as talented as he was, would probably stay with them for a long time.

Book wished he could in all conscience say he was happy about that, but he was still searching for his answers. Let someone else deliver cruel and unusual punishment – Book had a soul in the process of being saved, and nothing could deter him from this mission.

After twelve years at the abbey, Shepherd Book decided it was time to set out on his own, something he had never really done. He boarded the Firefly Serenity with no knowledge of what lay ahead. And when he fell into bed that first night, he knew he had found salvation at last.

**Author's Note:**

> I found Book's first name on [BrownCoats.com](http://www.browncoats.com). For [](http://15minuteficlets.livejournal.com/profile)[**15minuteficlets**](http://15minuteficlets.livejournal.com/)' [Word 13](http://community.livejournal.com/15minuteficlets/4123.html#cutid1). Also, I made up Ariel having two suns - this may be wildly canonically inaccurate.


End file.
